Wednesday

sleeping mix of the day...

30 mg Restoril
1 mg Xanex
my favorite smell: husband

currently my daily mix

My current mixture of (daily) medications:

10 mg Prednisone
120 mg Cymbalta
225 mg Lyrica
2000 mg Keppra
400 mg Plaquenil

animal lover?

My daughter signed up at the local Humane Society to become a volunteer. We both attended an hour informational session last night. As I was trying to unwind after my long day, my daughter is very excited. She is so excited that she wants to foster a kitty right off the bat. My first response, no. My second response, NO. I think she is working on her daddy for some results. It is a 6 month commitment, at least 2 hours per week. Since she is underage, an adult will have to be with her -- meaning me. We have two dogs at home, whom she doesn't take care of. Her reply to that...those two dogs at home get better treatment than me! She continues on how they should be called semi-human. What a drama queen. She learns from the best, I suppose.

Tuesday

bits & pieces

I guess since I have found this...I should try to update with my bits and pieces...that I can remember, right at this moment.
I have received word that I am an overbearing mother. I have tried my best to be there for my daughter. But others judge me, especially her teachers. I am requested to attend a parent/teacher conference tomorrow about my loving child and how well she is doing, but that she should attain "her" goal and/or "her" decisions. I have asked my daughter what she would like to focus on...her answer, "mom, you pick." I have also asked her what high school classes she would like to sign up for, "I'm not sure, why don't you pick...like you always do." She was quite content to the items that I had picked. After registering, I had sent e-mails to various teachers to make sure she is adequately prepared for this transition. That is when I receive e-mails referring to having "her" make the decisions. I call my daughter to ask what these teachers are referring to and she had neglected to tell me, in her words "it has slipped my mind?" The counselor had pulled her out of class to discuss any anxieties she may have about my expectations. I have high expectations for my child, as any mother would. I also believe that I know my child the best. Yes, I can push very hard. But if I don't...she won't try. I am always intertwined in my child's school work, online discussions, relationship with others, etc. I probably have more reign and information than other parents. I always keep her visits supervised whether or not it is with the same or opposite sex. If she feels compelled or otherwise uncomfortable that she should call me under any circumstance. My daughter and I have a unique relationship. We can be close, but I am still her mother and have all authority. Most people think we are sisters, which I hate. Yes, people say I should be so ecstatic, but I am NOT. I am not amused. But I guess it is with life and the challenges that comes with that I learn my every day decisions. Right?

Since then...

My never-ending saga continues...and I have finally heard from my nephrologist that I do not have to do the Cytoxan treatments. Yay! Finally, good news, right? As of my last post, I am finally on so many anti-seizure or just plain out seizure meds that my memory has left me. The only reason I even remembered this site was...while I was going through the pages of my daily book, I saw scribblings on the side with regard to this site. Not only did it take me a LONG time to even realize what my user name and password was, but inevitably, my life is full of days that are missing. My family has told me about my changes. My disregard for everyone else's feelings, except mine. Yes, selfish me. I hope that I can vent online for a better person, in person. If that made any sense.