Sunday

Happy "mother's" Day!!

Today is Mother's Day, our so-called celebration...my poor husband, who tried really hard to get me gifts that I might not exchange or return. He is getting close...at least he got the right stores, ha! I only really have to return one thing and thank goodness my daughter can't find what she made me! It's like her tradition to make me something that I will have to keep forever. I told her that it was okay, a nice note would be just fine, but no -- she insists because she knows it makes me crazy! I tried to call one of my mother-in-laws, but she didn't answer. I don't really talk to the other one...and then there is my own, whom I'm not on speaking terms with. I am not sure what to do about that one. I am going to head into town today and will put new flowers on my grandma's grave. I know that I should be a bigger person than my mother, but I want her to know I mean business this time. I am tired of her over-stepping boundaries, pessimisstic attitude, monetary over the value of life, etc...I just can't stand it. I definintely don't want to turn into her and I do not want my daughter to turn into her either! Life has been a struggle in more than one way for me. Life has definitely been a CHALLENGE. Not only does my body suffer physically, but mentally I am scarred from childhood all the way up as an adult. My therapist told me that I have the so-called "abandonment" issues. Maybe I might overcompensate for my own daughter, but that's because of how traumatic it was for me growing up and even till this day. I don't want to repeat the cycle and I was told the only stable person in my life is my husband. My rock! He isn't perfect, but he tries. He has been with me through good times and bad, rough and really rough ones...etc. I don't know how I would've survived this long without him. I love him.

Well now that I am getting sick from my lovely family...which started with my daughter the day before her birthday party...whom she got every girl that attended sick, my husband & now me. Ugh! almost three weeks later and we are still dealing with this illness, OMG! I shall sign off today and try to enjoy the rest of the day. Happy Mother's Day to you all!

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