my HEART aches!

Another day has passed, another evening, early morning...etc...thoughts of my friend and her family on my mind. I spoke to her up until midnight last night and then woke up at 3:30 a.m. to talk to her again. They are still trying to control the swelling. Yesterday, I sent her a video of my daughter and they uploaded it to her laptop so her dad could see her & [possibly] recognize her and say her name. They have not left his bedside. I have the urge to come out and be with her to be close by if she needs me, to lean on me, as she has done so much for me over the years. I understand the doctors have already talked to the immediate family about advanced directives - just in case they can't control the swelling and he can't voice his wishes. It was so strange, but I was thinking of this on the way home. We have a circle of friends - back home in California. Out of five of us - I don't know my father, so that leaves four, one had a stroke 9 years ago and is still alive, but vegetative, then the other two passed away. My daughter said "It's something in the water!" So paranoid! But it is strange. The local cemetary - is filled with so many people that I have had interaction with or actually know [young and old]. People always wondered why I would go there for lunch sometimes to visit. Now I know why. The last time I went back to the cemetary was when my aunt passed away this last November - visiting a father to one of my friends, I laid some fake flowers down. My friend was pointing out all the other graves, that have yet to have placed the name stones of people I know or knew. It is so sad, so much tragedy. So much tragedy in my life in these last few years. Death has become too familiar. Why?

I have had the chance to even plan funerals - just like a wedding, all played out in parts, with annoucements, with music, flowers - the only difference is that it isn't a celebration, oh and we can't forget the casket, plus the marked black clothing.

I have no idea why I am even writing this...maybe because it has been plaguing...me waiting...[hopefully] for good news.