finally, insurance??...& message to Dorie

This is what it has come to...I have Medicare A & B, seperate drug insurance, supplemental insurance. I think that is about it...but when you add it all up, wheew! I probably should've stayed on my husband's insurance. IDK, things change from day to day. I worry about everything, everyday or at least that's how it seams. My medication can be so pricey that I would stop taking or take less than what I am supposed to take. Everything is so expensive these days...for instance, I stopped taking all of my anti-seizure drugs. I know that it is a bad thing to do. I have to make sure that I stay home all the time. Going out a seizure just can happen. I find that when I am home it is more calm and I make sure to get a lot of rest. Sometimes that's not enough, but I do what I have to. Now I am experiencing dizziness, inability to see what I am reading and then it blurs out to the point where I have to take a second look and have it explained to me more clearly. This is not a good thing, to skip your medication, but I can't say that I don't because I do, financially, it helps me to get through month to month. Unfortunately, I have so many medical bills (which is a lame excuse, but it is life). Food or medicine, that is what it has come down to...and I have a child to care for...I know that my ability to do many things have ceased, but I still try. I definitely pay for it. I can't walk down the block. I can't watch movies. I can't even get down my stairs on certain days. And the others...I can't even get out of bed. But that's life and I have made my own decisions and deal with what I can.


To: Dorie, I'm sorry that you are going thru so much right now. I have fibromyalgia as well. It sounds like you & your husband aren't doing so well. It is hard on our partners to deal with our disabilities. It is the same for me, I depend on my husband for everything. If he wasn't here...I don't know what would have happened?? SSDI can be a long and excruciating matter. It was practically two years in one month! When, I finally got it!! I was really scared before my hearing as well. I didn't know what we would do if I didn't win. I prayed a lot. My husband took off work to come with me to my hearing. Your attorney will come with you. Be prepared to answer questions...in case the Judge asks you directly, which I assume he/she will. Your attorney will prep you for your hearing. Or at least that's what they are supposed to be doing. The only advice I can give you is to be honest. The other advice about your marriage...I would open a seperate account. You can keep it at the same bank or a different one, but make sure it is only in your name. You should do this way before your hearing. If and when you get approved. Then ask for your disability check to come through your bank automatically. Make sure your attorney knows this as well. This is just some preparation for your future. I guess that's all I can really offer to you. Good luck and I wish you the best.

Up In The AIR!!!

Right now, I am awake, while everyone in this house is sleeping. I am having the weirdest bleed pattern ever. Generally for years I didn't have the menstral cycle at all. My daughter is a teenager now, so everytime she gets her period, I get all the symptoms of having a period...then I spot...then it goes away. Today is a WAY different story. I am bleeding so much that a super tampon, liner & I barely lasted 2 hours. Now, I just decided to use the super tampon plus the night pad, so it is a little bit longer in the back, to get more coverage. I folded the towel twice over and it is under me now. I think I had too much sugar today and I can't sleep. Although I am super tired. I don't know what to do. I feel like I could collapse any minute. I have been praying for many things these days. But more than usual. The stress of having a life, having a family, then me-mom.

I'm worried about insurance coverage that I just got through my husband's work. I don't know where the brochures and stuff is located. So I need to go online, while I am fully coherent and read through a whole bunch of RULES. I just don't want to panic about coverage, etc. You know what I mean.

The next thing...ta dah!(yeah right!) SSDI. I am trying and it has been so ridiculous and they keep dragging their feet. We are holding on as long as we can. This financial burden isn't good for our marriage. I am sure my husband has many frustrations, but he is so understanding nowadays. But we have our moments. I guess if there wasn't any fire, we would be blown out quick. We are totally opposites in almost everything. But we compromise as much as we can. So basically these last or almost two years of unemployment, dissolution of every thing, sold anything of worth, even cashed out all of our savings. This is it. If it doesn't get decided in our favor I don't know where that will leave us. We won't have money, no savings, definitely bills!!! The last thing I heard from my attorney was on Tuesday--she called SSDI to see where my file is--it is on the decision pile. That is great news. Now we just need to have them to decide that I am eligeable (sp?) okay let's say my pain meds are kicking in a little bit which is finally some relief. I'm praying, crossing my fingers, please think of me! I need everyone to help, please.