Conversation with Dr. Ginsberg

Dr. Ginsberg finally calls me back and he gently tells me that it isn't the medication that is affecting me & that I need to see Dr. Charney. As I almost cry, I ask him to kill me [literally]. I ask if this is normal? Now I am sweating, first I was chilly? My veins are burning out of control & of course my foot. He said it is related to my Lupus and to NOT stop taking my medication. I said why am I feeling this way? He just said that I have become very depressed and that I need to see Dr. Charney right away. He has instructed me to call Dr. Charney's office and [practically demand] for an appointment before the weekend. I call and of course, the first appointment isn't until the 30th. I tell the receptionist that I personally spoke to Dr. Charney & Dr. Ginsberg and they both wanted me to be seen right away, she puts me into voicemail. I leave a message for Alonda [Dr. Charney's nurse] & I have yet to hear from anyone yet, if I do at all?
Everyone at work, looks at i'm a crazy person [probably because I am]. They all tell me to go home, but I'll probably cry if I go home, I need a job and I am scared that I will get fired for being sick all the time. Plus, if I have to see a doctor, they are all down here by my office. So what is the point? The new attorney here asks me to help her with a stapler, I attempt to help her & she sees my medications on my desk, she makes a comment "that's your medications?" I answered her "yes, plus I have some that go intraveneously", she looked at me awed, and said "you should go home", of course I tell her that I have to probably see my arthritis doctor and he's down here, it's better for me to stay here. She looks at me says "you have arthritis too?" I tell her "yes, RA", she answers "and you are able to work?" Now I am feeling very low. I just look at her and I think she got the hint to not make any more comments before I break down and cry again.

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