I made it through the evening, really tired. We got up and got ready for church. We went to church and it was a LONG church service, not only to find out that my pastor was being replaced by a pastor visiting...he is currently working at Loma Linda. We went to say "happy sabbath" and both him and his wife seemed "cold." I don't know, maybe it was just us? My aunt and uncle sat right next to us across the aisle. After the service, we said a short "hello" and then "goodbye" -- my aunt disappears as usual. Then we were off to go to the Farmer's Market. Soon we found out there was a big celebration happening, I guess for Memorial Day and it looked really crowded and we were [very] hungry. So we decided to go to Olive Garden. Food always comes out very promptly and it is priced just right. We stuffed ourselves...calling my husband like crazy and he wasn't answering, apparently he was looking for parking for the last thirty minutes. OMG. We weren't even there. So I told him to come over to Olive Garden to eat with us...his motorcycle wouldn't start. I don't know what the heck is wrong with it...but I had to go pick him up. Ugh! I was in such a bad mood that I couldn't even see him. I was having another migrane [which seems to be very common these days]. I took lots of meds and picked him up & brought him to Olive Garden. Then I had drive us to the ourdoor mall to do a little shopping, but I was feeling really bad - bad enough that my daughter and girlfriend had to bring out the wheelchair and we all know how much I love to ride around in it. We did a little and went back to the house, now laying around, watching "happy feet". Everyone is cold, except for me. I'm having a hot flash [I think?]

Today, I got myself a book or devotional my daughter had suggested . . . "worn out" how appropriate?? I feel so tired...but my friend will be leaving for Saipan soon and I want to be able to spend time together.


BORED of life??

I must be really bored to be posting AGAIN. I can't take reality right now and blogging seems to be nice outlet. I can just vent...with the anonymity. Sometimes I say too much or give out too much information about things. I have always had that problem [it's called gossip]. I have a talent for it.

I miss a girlfriend - she lives down the street. We used to be [really] close, until our girls had a falling out. The girls finally worked it out, but we still haven't talked. I sent a note home with the girl...and haven't heard from her mom. I tried to see her at the school event, but as soon as I got there, she left. I thought of her today because in her last email to me, she told me that they found tumors on her mother's arms and had to operate on them. I don't know what the outcome was, but she never really responded to me after that. I was going to buy her mother flowers today at the store, but then [rethought] I didn't want to shove my way back into her life and I would definitely be doing that, by trying to come over to give flowers...I guess I could always have my daughter or husband drop it off and just let her know that she is in my thoughts and prayers. My list of prayers have gotten [much] longer lately. I can't believe all the disparity, tragedy, etc. Life isn't all about me, there is so much more out there. Am I selfish, because I am always so wrapped up in my own stuff that I don't give enough to others?

This is Memorial Day weekend. I was thinking of visiting my grandmother's grave, but I am afraid to bump into my mother. I haven't talked to her since March. It is now almost June. Will I grow up? Will I let her bully me? Will I continue to let her speak disparaginly of me? NO. I have put my foot down. Is she really sorry? I have no clue. I don't need the added stress. Life is hard as it is. As I say that, I realize the title of this section says "Bored of Life?" Hmm...that is questionable.

I watch the same movies over and over again. I enjoy just being alone. I enjoy being in the quite. I enjoy my bath times. I love my boys [two labs], when they are good [just kidding], just like I love my husband [although, he can make me crazy], but we still cuddle after how many years together?? LOTS! My daughter, who loves me, but can be forceful with her voice. She always takes care of me...but we still butt heads, again we are mother and daughter and not friends. So I guess that is to be expected. I still don't have my office up and running like I thought I would by now. I am on the couch in my bedroom typing this on my lap when I could be in my office typing and doing all my other stuff. My room has become cluttered as we squeeze everything into this one room. Am I doing to end up stuck in my bedroom forever?? Maybe?? I haven't talked to many people...I just feel like being AWAY for a while. I forget so many thing I regret the most - forgetfulness!

my damn day...head [ache]

I started off with a bad headache. My husband totally had a COW because of my daughter's new friend [boyfriend]. He is a [little] strange. He is 13, but does not have a cell phone or use IM. I don't know...I guess our families these days are so wired to the net as an outlet I thought it was strange. I don't know anything about the boy [apparently] my daughter has the same issue. We live in a small town and I know all of my daughter's friends, parents, and just people in general [we live in a five mile sqare town].

I worked today, but I guess you can call me an overpriced receptionist or a very expensive one. The paralegal and I were pretty frustrated, because this job is the most we both have made and the least amount of work. Yes, sometimes it is good, but all the time?? I would like to think I am doing something fulfilling in life. I got to watch the movie "rent", almost cried at the end, but I was at work. I have been working on this book - word search. Yes, I am an exciting person.

I came home a little early, but stopped at Safeway to pick up some prescriptions and crap a little grocery. The pharmacist working today - thinks I'm a drug addict or something because he ALWAYS gives me trouble when filling my prescriptions...almost like harassment. He is a fill in pharmacist. I actually know the pharmacists there pretty well. I was even invited to one of their weddings and have been on some social outings with them. Strange, huh? To have such a personal relationship with your pharmacist? I guess I take LOTS of drugs.

I took my usual bath, feeling really weird and tingly...tired, head foot froze up...had to take a Vicodin and took Keppra and I still feel terrible. I am laying down on the couch trying to relax as my husband parades around the house with this vaccum that he has been torturing me to buy. I think it was an "overpriced" value. I guess because we do use a vaccum quite often with two shedding dogs and my daughter having asthma. But I understand the longetivity of the vaccum is supposed to weigh out the cost. He did pretty good, used the coupons I gave him and saved $150, which is pretty amazing for him.

My girlfried [best friend] from Saipan went river rafting today and is going down to Parker to have dinner at some posh restaurant. She wanted us to meet her there for dinner, but it is too far for me. I told her that my husband would pick her up...and she was like - how come you aren't coming? I said that I don't do well in the car too long and plus I don't feel so well. I can't be left alone so my daughter will stay with me.

I did get to talk to my other girlfriend [best best friend], her dad who had a stroke finally got transferred to her facility [where she works] which is good so she can personally care for him, but he fell this morning [again], trying to go to the bathroom. I feel so bad for him and the family. I told them he was in our prayers. He is really having a hard time realizing that he does have right side paralysis and still can't speak. He is responsive because he nods and attempts to talk. I wish he would get better soon.

Now I am rambling I usually do. Apparently, I was doing stuff in my sleep again. I wrote an email to my daughter's band teacher and told a really embarassing story about what I did when I was my daughter's age. I couldn't believe it. But I guess it wasn't too bad. What is the matter with me? Why do I need to have so much information or just know . . . it makes me crazy not to know, ya know. Even if it isn't my business. Although, it may be tiring at times...I think it entertains me. I guess enough for now, ta ta!


Band Concert

As I took half the day off to go to my daughter's school to participate in an outdoor picnic, plus tonight was her last band concert in 7th grade. As soon as I was done at one place, then to the next, and next - I am exhausted.

The band concert was a little over an hour long - whew! I took a pain pill and additional seizure medications...hoping that I don't have an episode at her school and making a big scene. I had ordered an Hawaiian Lei for her band teacher - and let her know that she has been a motivator [inspiration] for our daughter to push harder and become a "musician". Sam and I also picked her up symphony chocolate and a singing card. The one thing was that I forgot to do was tell Sam about the lei. Oops, just a little mistake, hee:) Her band teacher seemed to love it and was very excited that it had came ALL the way from Hawaii. It was a happy day.

After the band concert, I kept telling Tony to go on his bike ride and pick me up some incense for my bath. He kept saying he had a bad feeling. I didn't even know anything was happening. Next thing I knew, she came in to tell me that he finally asked her to be his girlfriend and she said sure! It was a happy day.

We come home and I tell her to tell her dad right away, so it doesn't look like she is hiding anything. I didn't tell him that I bought her a book called the "Datable Book" at the Christian Family Store. I didn't realize how a book can have such an effect on a person. But it helped her with this "dating" issue. I can't imagine her doing anything that we didn't approve of, plus I was proud [especially] because she was honest, even knowing that her father would have a [literal] meltdown. I encouraged her that I trusted her and that I would talk to her father. Her dad needs some space and he is definitely pissed off. Anything that I say now, he'll just be more pissed off. They are kids, and she is very strong willed. The boy seems to be shy and definitely not threatening in any way. Even Tony had the same reaction when he first saw him. The first time I saw him, it was from afar...and we all know that my eyesight is SUPER [NOT]! Our daughter growing up...hoping that her dad won't go CRAZY, but he'll probably be suspicious for a while. I will pray and hope that God will lead me in some advice as to help him feel better about the situation.

Nite nite!!

a New day!!

Well I'm kind of excited today. I get to leave work early today to go home and be with my daughter at her school [probably embarassing her] which is more like it. Today is some sort of school event and she will have her last band concert today. Her band teacher is retiring due to her RA [rheumatoid arthritis] something that I know too well. I sent her a lei - in celebration of her new beginning, retirement. I hope she enjoys it. I still need to pick up a card for her and probably give it to her tonight.

Today, I also get to see my Best Friend. She will come out to see Sam's concert and go back to Denver to be with her friend for one more day, then will come to stay with us Friday night until early Tuesday morning. I miss her so much! I got her 30th birthday present, but I wanted to put a more recent picture in the frame I got her so I will take a new one of both of us being trendy, flirty & thirty, ha! I took that from her blog! Although, you could take out the flirty part on my end cause I have a man and no need for more drama in this woman's life, ha!

I did get up early this morning and got a list going of stuff my husband needed to do for my office. I have decided to get moving on some projects instead of leaving them half way done. I tend to do that these days because I get tired. Then I loose all concentration and my health just always [I mean ALWAYS] gets in the way. I needed a break from my health.

This morning, I woke up sweating, feeling like I was being held down. So strange, I was kind of scared. Two nights ago - I had incontinence in a store. I was just browsing around a store looking for a desk in my "official" office. It was quite embarassing. I just threw my panty away [well I wrapped it up several times - like a tampon] and just went bare. I couldn't see out of one eye [yes, I know it sounds really bad], but I was close to home and instead of having my husband come and get me, I just drove home [yes, that is really bad]. Today, as I was driving into work, I literally fell asleep at the wheel, almost hitting a couple of cars as I came out of the HOV lane, people were honking [yes, I was quite embarassed and yes, I know how dangerous that was]. I usually chew gum, but my daughter had taken it out of the car, but that is no excuse. I need to get this thing under control. I have had it with these damn seizures or whatever they think they are?? Now talking about a heart condition, umm...I don't think so. I'm tired of being probed, tested & looked at like some gone bad science project. I just want to be a normal jane for now. I want to be a mother, wife and a loving friend - who doesn't forget everything! I feel like I have suffered a loss [like death]. I need to mourn the fact that I can't be all that and more, anymore. Okay that rhymed, hee:)

I'm super bored at work...been reduced to watching movies and doing word searches. Yes, very eventful. At least today won't be as long because I leave a noon, yeah!