the EXTREME heat

Today was a very HOT day. I went to church with my family with the exception of my husband. He has been working every Saturday because he is trying to make up for my earnings. My church doesn't have air conditioning & it was almost horridly hot. I think that being spiritual helps me get through my rough patches. Sometimes I get angry at God wondering where he is and why isn't he helping me?

I have been officially disqualified from unemployment. Now I am not sure what to do? I got the disability forms in the mail from the Social Security Administration. My husband wants me to apply for disability and I have a hard time accepting it. I heard it is hard to get on disability. I don't know how much work I can really do and be productive.

My family (husband & daughter) has been so wonderful to me. They have been getting my drinks and helping me around the house and also while going out. I have been able to use my wheelchair but other times I don't want to. Both of my arms, wrists & hands hurt badly. I can't lift anything more than a magazine. When I go grocery shopping it is the worse. It is very painful. I usually have to put lidoderm patches.

I do my physical therapy twice a week, in the pool, electrical stimulation and massage. Stretching seems to be the most important key to pain management. I didn't realize how much more it helps to stretch instead of taking another pain pill. I just did another DEXA scan, plus I did the modified berrium testing last week. I guess I should know some results by Monday. I have two appointments and one on Wednesday. Hopefully it turns out okay. My rheumatologist seems to say that my lupus is doing okay. But I know sometimes when I stand too long my knees hurt and turn red.

Well wish me luck in getting disability! I have an appointment in the office in August. Hopefully it won't be such a pain to get.

hmm...?

I am not sure what I am doing these days...I have been unemployed officially for almost a month. I have so many errands to run each day-to-day that we never really get to enjoy our days. Now that has to suck more than working, right? Who knows?
Nowadays - I just wander around. Hopefully I will find my way.