Second thoughts...it is FRIDAY, yay!! My weekend plans seem a bit overwhelming, but I am sure I will get through it like I usually do.
I haven't been doing much except for avoiding work. I am just not in the mood and I have made some minimal mistakes this morning, but I am not going to point it out unless someone else notices.
Everyone else has left early for the weekend. I am stuck here until five, argh. I should be happy :) Things seem to have been better at work even though I still think the new administrator cannot compare to our old one. She doesn't seem to be computer savy at all. What to do with another person that cannot operate the machines: ERROR, operator error!!
I have a bridal shower to go to, two of them in one! Well I am not sure if we will be going, but I have had the gifts for some time now. I need to put them together ina basket or something. I was going to do a box, but you know how that goes...it just keeps going.
I have been scrapbooking at night which doesn't seem to be that helpful. I haven't gotten that far in the book and I really want to be done. I have to add some personalization to it, but I don't want to sound too bad. Sometimes when I read over something I had written, I can't believe that I am missing words, etc.
Ok, it is 4 on a Friday afternoon. What can I start, that I will be able to finish today? Umm...nothing if you really ask me!!
Friday
Thursday
my fishing expedition...
I'm not sure why I could even begin calling this, "my fishing expedition" since I'm not the one fishing. It seems that there is something inherently wrong with me, what's new? I have several appointments awaiting me. Yesterday, I had someone check out my uterus and take blood, again. Now I need an ultrasound. Argh... I started to fill out some paperwork for my other "new" doctors, but so much information is like digging through the ground with no end in sight. I just burrowed myself in there. I am like their lab experiment gone wrong. If they ever find anything, I'll be sure to post it. That's how much confidence I have in my doctors.
Ooh, I almost forgot, there has been some talk about my gallbladder. Well - I guess it might be SOL now.
Yesterday, one of the older ladies made a comment to me, "age first, then beauty" as I passed her. At first, I didn't really understand and continued on my way. Then later, I took it as I must be oogly or something. So today, I dressed a little more business like and put on makeup. Whew, it has been a long time. I generally don't wear makeup unless it is for a party or something and that is still questionable. I had the hardest time trying to figure out how to apply the damn thing that I put it on and said viola!
Today has been especially quiet. Oh no, I probably shouldn't say that because all hell will break loose now.
I'm not in the mood to work just about now. I'm very weird feeling. I keep waking up at around 2 or 3 in the morning, tossing and turning. Is it a sign?? Probably. I had a dream about work. The last time I had a dream about work, it was about time for me to move on.
Ooh, I almost forgot, there has been some talk about my gallbladder. Well - I guess it might be SOL now.
Yesterday, one of the older ladies made a comment to me, "age first, then beauty" as I passed her. At first, I didn't really understand and continued on my way. Then later, I took it as I must be oogly or something. So today, I dressed a little more business like and put on makeup. Whew, it has been a long time. I generally don't wear makeup unless it is for a party or something and that is still questionable. I had the hardest time trying to figure out how to apply the damn thing that I put it on and said viola!
Today has been especially quiet. Oh no, I probably shouldn't say that because all hell will break loose now.
I'm not in the mood to work just about now. I'm very weird feeling. I keep waking up at around 2 or 3 in the morning, tossing and turning. Is it a sign?? Probably. I had a dream about work. The last time I had a dream about work, it was about time for me to move on.
Tuesday
MIA
Missing-In-Action: Definition?? It obviously speaks for itself. I was brought up with both parents being MIA most of the time, but I'd have to say I don't have a dad.
Recently, I have found that I do indeed have a living dad. I have received his phone number, but have decided not to contact him. As I found my dad, I found other relatives. I'm supposed to visit, but then again, my life here is falling apart. I have to take a step back and think of myself and my family here.
Yesterday, my tragedy was finding out that I needed all these crazy tests and crazy specialists for specialists [yes, I did say it twice]. What was even more remarkable was that one of the specialists' office that I called had an office person who worked for one of my old specialist-neprhologist, which I haven't seen since 2000. I have mixed feelings of what I will find or encounter. I talked with my husband about it and felt that it was best to not talk about it until we have some confirmed results. We will just act as always...appointments, as usual, just a lot more scheduled.
I have been bleeding for over two weeks now. Maybe it is making up for lost time? Who knows? I didn't even blink an eye, but my rheumatologist seemed very concerned [maybe that's just his job]. I see a gyn tomorrow, so we'll see how that goes.
I have asked that a celebration be made of my daughter's birthday and graduation, but my family doesn't really seem to care. My daughter's idea was just to have a family dinner. What a disappointment when no one shows. I guess we'll just play it by ear. Life is full of let downs.
Recently, I have found that I do indeed have a living dad. I have received his phone number, but have decided not to contact him. As I found my dad, I found other relatives. I'm supposed to visit, but then again, my life here is falling apart. I have to take a step back and think of myself and my family here.
Yesterday, my tragedy was finding out that I needed all these crazy tests and crazy specialists for specialists [yes, I did say it twice]. What was even more remarkable was that one of the specialists' office that I called had an office person who worked for one of my old specialist-neprhologist, which I haven't seen since 2000. I have mixed feelings of what I will find or encounter. I talked with my husband about it and felt that it was best to not talk about it until we have some confirmed results. We will just act as always...appointments, as usual, just a lot more scheduled.
I have been bleeding for over two weeks now. Maybe it is making up for lost time? Who knows? I didn't even blink an eye, but my rheumatologist seemed very concerned [maybe that's just his job]. I see a gyn tomorrow, so we'll see how that goes.
I have asked that a celebration be made of my daughter's birthday and graduation, but my family doesn't really seem to care. My daughter's idea was just to have a family dinner. What a disappointment when no one shows. I guess we'll just play it by ear. Life is full of let downs.
Monday
disturbing...
I went to see my rheumatologist today. I haven't seen him in a long time, well longer than usual. I was given a page long of items that I need to do before I see his nurse practitioner in a month. This week alone I have two appointments scheduled. I guess I didn't think it was a big deal that I had been bleeding or having my period for two weeks. I have been bleeding for quite some time now. I haven't had a period in over four years. I thought I had gone through menopause. My rheumatologist feels that this is a second priority problem. I have a first priority problem, which seems to be hardest to talk about. I am not sure why? So I have to see a cardiologist. So I have to have a full work up of my heart. I had blood slowly drawn from my arm which was nice [because taking it from your ankles is quite painful!]. Then, comes third priority: gasterintologist [sp?]. When one thing goes away...many accumulates? I had a seizure this past weekend, on Saturday. I have been taking my medication and I just don't know what else is left to do. I have yet to tell my husband and daughter. I have requested the time off from my administrator and hope that it won't be a problem. I think that I shouldn't worry until it is a real problem, right?
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