Yeah...the A/C is FIXED!!

I finally went to bed...got up early and called at 8 a.m., then by 10 a.m. the repairman was at my house & by noon he was done and it was fixed. Oh yes, for a price though. It did cut into my father's day budget. Oh well, I am sure my husband can't be too disappointed. I tried, right? I got him another flat screen tv. Since he broke the other one...and we just can't see on the really small t.v. that we are currently using and the wall just looks BAD. Also, I don't want to encourage his BAD behavior. Oh well, my daughter and I put it in the basement. Hopefully, father's day this year won't be sooo bad.

I went to my friend's baby's baptismal. Well technically I missed the baptism because of the repairman, so I made it to the potluck. Oooh, I love babies, but only for so long, hee:) They are so cute and cuddly, then they grow up.

I am SUPER tired today, but I am trying not to sleep too early. I have been all weird all week long. Trying to take all of my meds, which reminds me that I almost forgot to take all of my medication today. It was so dumb, I had to turn around and go back home to have my daughter get them.

I think maybe I am spending too much time with my daughter and her boyfriend. I am like their third wheel. I kind of intervene in their conversations, etc. I need to find a life?? Technically, I do have a busy life, I just multitask, ontop of each and other thing that I am doing. Why can't I relax? I'm probably going to hurt myself before I ever slow down.

air conditioning issues...

Yes, my a/c all of a sudden stopped working today. It is supposed to be very HOT this weekend. I don't know if I can survive without air conditioning with my condition. I'm so tired, but I'm hot, irritable and it is the middle of summer. It is about midnight and tomorrow is Saturday, so I am not sure who will be able to come out the same day!! I don't think that I could stay home all day if the house is like an oven.

WHY? I can't stand it....I will melt, literally. I am pre-menapausal...so it doesn't help either. I am wondering if I should go to the baby shower tomorrow in Aurora b/c I can only go to the mall and where else? I need shelter until the air conditioning is working.

PRAY, please!!! I think I am pretty desperate!

rain drops keep falling on my head...

I barely make it home from work today. I guess the unexpected rain, traffic, or just plain old being tired . . . I started to feel like I was choking by my seatbelt. Then I could barely move. I kept calling my dependable family [NOT]. All of them, inclulding my daughter's friend's cell and they all ignored me. I made it to my driveway and almost lose consciousness. My daughter finally came to my aid with medications. My husband's response was if you didn't rely on your meds so much maybe you would be okay. Nice, huh? Sometimes those insensitive moments...well their shitty.

I talked to my best friend today because she could definitely tell that I needed her. She brought a smile to my face. She let me hear what I didn't want to hear...which sometimes brings you back to reality.

Today was rainy, gloomy and sad, just as my daughter was because she missed her boyfriend by minutes. He must've logged on 20 times to try to catch her inbetween whatever he was doing. She keeps waiting & waiting that I finally told her to log off because she looked a little desperate. I told her that he would eventually write her an email. She didn't believe so. I can't sheild my daughter from everything, the inevitable may happen, a broken heart.

Love? Why do we love? Why do we even like? We go where our hearts leads anyways. We have no control no matter how much we try to...but love -- so unpredictable.

calmed...

I'm finally at home just resting and trying to relax. I picked up my daughter on time. Frankly, my daughter told me as I was picking her up, jumbling the cell phone, driving like a maniac and in depth conversation, saw family members on the way home and invited one of them over for dinner by sign language, all while driving, chatting on my cell, etc. I get to my daughter's boyfriend's house and apparently my skirt and shirt was disshoveled. I didn't even notice, but it was embarassing enough.

I talked to my internist yesterday...well one of them...she asked me a strange question...like do I have a weird sensation or smell or tingling...she said it is called an "ora" (sP?), but it is usually right before a seizure. I did notice that my smell has increased, I have been having a lot of headaches due to noise or smell or combination of both? I don't know. I swear I could smell it through my skin. I even taste it sometimes. I don't know if it is the Lupus or the seizures.

crazy, who me?

OMG, my daughter's bf's mom is totally NUTS. Okay, granted the kids are young, but they like each other enough to be responsible and be honest with us. As much as we might not like the fact that they are 13 and have this boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, we have to deal with it, right? Apparently, according to his mother, NO! She doesn't want them spending any time together. According to her being brought up as not being allowed to date until she went to college. Good luck lady! But they are kids. They act like kids. Their afternoon date was to play at the park, actually playing soccer. We had to run out to Wal-mart at 11:30 at night to buy this sucker because [well] Maxwell ate the other one and we only had a volleyball left. Frankly, I've seen their conversations...and it isn't anything. He seems like a very responsible kid and I totally trust mine. I wouldn't want them to hide it. But it is either leading up to the end or he is going to end up lying to his mother. Even if we are there to supervise them, she does NOT want them to be boyfriend or girlfriend. So we say they are just "friends" - well they hang out as just friends, let's hope that they will be honest with us as friends too. I think that it was more than that...that's why they had to tell us, even though both were scared. My daughter went over to her house so that she [his mother] could supervise them, but still that is not enough. She just does not want to have it at all! I don't know how they plan on stopping them. I am supposed to pick up my daughter after work and probably talk [again]. I'm tired of talking to this lady. I must be up or running for "worst mother of the year" award. I totally snoop through my daughter's stuff and I haven't seen anything that should alarm me. Actually, I am grateful that she was honest enough to tell us about her boyfriend. They are more like pals than anything. They aren't lovey dovey or however you would like to describe it. Was this wrong? My suggestion to my daughter was that he either stand up to his mother or have my daughter move on to greener pastures . . . if they continued to be bf/gf, they might not be able to see each other ever again. If they stayed friends, that might not happen either...since his mom is so against the whole relationship. They could continue to talk on IM if they wanted, but I hate it when my daughter spends all day glued to the computer. I want her to go outside and breathe the fresh air. They have both resulted in becoming homebodies b/c they couldn't call or at least he could not. I think as long as it doesn't get in the way of school or their other priorities that the relationship is fine, plus they are being supervised by either me or his mom . . . but frankly, she said don't feel insulted when I just decline. So I guess there is my answer, right? I'm not sure his dad would feel the same. They are boys. Shouldn't I be more worried since it's my daughter? Apparently, I haven't worried enough.

What would be considered NORMAL?

I'm not sure what is considered normal anymore. I have my own thoughts of normalcy, but things do happen, and not in order mind you. There is no such thing (well I guess there can be) only in the movies, right?

I have been having this neverending headache!! I took lots of vicodin/vicoprofen today, got my rest, didn't really get out of bed. So I am not sure why I keep having it!! I want it to go away. It almost feels like I have been crying a lot, but the weird thing is that I haven't cried lately??

I am calling my husband [in between me writing] just to make sure everything is dandy. But he isn't answering? What's up with that? I left a voicemail. I am not sure if I should call my daughter yet because I don't have a car to pick her up in - umm...cause my hubby took it to get my tv from my sister's place. ugh! Goodness, I hope he is okay.

I am calling a good friend to help me calm down a little. I think that I am overacting? Right?

Voilitile?

Okay, my husband has not taken his anti - depressants for the day and basically had a VERY short temper. To the point of destroying our flat screen tv. Yes, he get crazy. He always breaks the expensive stuff I just paid the sucker off too which pisses me off BIG time. But what am I to do now?

He was mad for numerous things:

1) he claims that I yelled at him for turning off the DVD player in the middle of my movie, which I did do.

2) that our daughter has done none of her chores and went over to a friends house; oh and he tried to slide in there that I am encouraging her "boyfriend" relationship. Okay, even if I could call it a boyfriend relationship, they are more like pals than anything.

3) I finally told him why I let his sister come over earlier. She has been having troubles with her ex-boyfriend, a/k/a LAZY bum. He apparently was supposed to go to Kansas City, but ended up getting arrested and brought to the Aurora jail for an outstanding warrant for a DUI/ I said how can he get a DUI when he doesn't even have a car? Apparently, maybe it was when he had a car? We have no idea - compulsive LIAR.

My husband went over to my sister-in-law's place and we have been calling her, but she has not been answering. We don't know why or what? But she knows that we are supposed to come over to get the TV to bring back here. But as I have let my husband know more about the situation, he's PISSED, to say the least. I hope she's okay and isn't hurt -- b/c she always picks up her cell phone or if she misses it, she'll call right back.

I have yet to hear from my daughter who is at a girlfriend's house, just hanging. My daughter wants to go to Water World and we are trying to make it happen. But we'll see how this all works out. I thought a mass of her friends could come along or we could just have me and the bf's mom as chaparones with our kids there?? I don't know...I'm not sure of anything anymore. Who knows if this relationship will outlast the summer? Although, I can see it being pretty cool to start the new year off, as where it ended. So I assume - she's taken. She thinks the school dances are gay, but maybe the Night at the Rec might be more interesting??

I just want to see her happy and enjoying her time :)