BORED of life??

I must be really bored to be posting AGAIN. I can't take reality right now and blogging seems to be nice outlet. I can just vent...with the anonymity. Sometimes I say too much or give out too much information about things. I have always had that problem [it's called gossip]. I have a talent for it.

I miss a girlfriend - she lives down the street. We used to be [really] close, until our girls had a falling out. The girls finally worked it out, but we still haven't talked. I sent a note home with the girl...and haven't heard from her mom. I tried to see her at the school event, but as soon as I got there, she left. I thought of her today because in her last email to me, she told me that they found tumors on her mother's arms and had to operate on them. I don't know what the outcome was, but she never really responded to me after that. I was going to buy her mother flowers today at the store, but then [rethought] I didn't want to shove my way back into her life and I would definitely be doing that, by trying to come over to give flowers...I guess I could always have my daughter or husband drop it off and just let her know that she is in my thoughts and prayers. My list of prayers have gotten [much] longer lately. I can't believe all the disparity, tragedy, etc. Life isn't all about me, there is so much more out there. Am I selfish, because I am always so wrapped up in my own stuff that I don't give enough to others?

This is Memorial Day weekend. I was thinking of visiting my grandmother's grave, but I am afraid to bump into my mother. I haven't talked to her since March. It is now almost June. Will I grow up? Will I let her bully me? Will I continue to let her speak disparaginly of me? NO. I have put my foot down. Is she really sorry? I have no clue. I don't need the added stress. Life is hard as it is. As I say that, I realize the title of this section says "Bored of Life?" Hmm...that is questionable.

I watch the same movies over and over again. I enjoy just being alone. I enjoy being in the quite. I enjoy my bath times. I love my boys [two labs], when they are good [just kidding], just like I love my husband [although, he can make me crazy], but we still cuddle after how many years together?? LOTS! My daughter, who loves me, but can be forceful with her voice. She always takes care of me...but we still butt heads, again we are mother and daughter and not friends. So I guess that is to be expected. I still don't have my office up and running like I thought I would by now. I am on the couch in my bedroom typing this on my lap when I could be in my office typing and doing all my other stuff. My room has become cluttered as we squeeze everything into this one room. Am I doing to end up stuck in my bedroom forever?? Maybe?? I haven't talked to many people...I just feel like being AWAY for a while. I forget so many thing I regret the most - forgetfulness!

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