left overs

There are always left overs. It is more common these days. Sometimes I feel like I was a left over. You know how enticing I am? That's how it feels. [Literally].

One of my fears...maybe a long time ago I posted something about my past. But as a young child, my mother, was never a "maternal" mother. It's like she had me and that was it. I find out several years later that it was a last attempt to keep her marriage together. I spent a lot of my adolescent years with other family members, being switched from home to home, never really knowing my parents. Never really growing any roots, my feeling of abandonment came at a very young age. I was living with my paternal grandparents from the ages of 2 to 7. My mother says that she didn't want to upset me much, so she didn't call or visit. My father has always been MIA. He would come when he felt like it, with all his other children and maybe take us out for breakfast or lunch as a treat and then drop us all off. My other aunts and uncles would try to take me for visits and sometimes they would even forget me. Apparently, I get forgotten quite a bit. Can you see the pattern?

No comments: