Wednesday

last night...Problems!

I thought yesterday was a good day...wait until the evening rolled around...it was not pleasant, to say the least. I got home, looked thru the mail & to my surprise I got a notice from my bank. I open it up [freaked out] to find that my account is overdrawn as of March 4th! I just got paid on the first and my husband got paid on the 4th! The day before I had sent out all my bills because I am getting ready to leave for Europe. After paying all of my monthly bills I had about $300 left (as I had calculated in my little paper book). Well, that was NOT the case. Not only was overdrawn, but all those bills that I just sent out, didn't get a chance to clear. Here I am freaking out!!! I turn on my laptop and look at my bank statement for the month. There were some random charges, but not enough to make it crazy like it was to be totally overdrawn, plus bank fees, what??? After looking and looking...I couldn't figure it out. I went back a month & I found it. My best friend from highschool came out to visit me in Colorado for my big 30th birthday. I had my cousin pick her up from the airport and drop her off at my work. From my work, we go to Enterprise to rent a car. Her brother and cousins were flying in later that evening and there was no way we could all fit in my SUV. There was something wrong with my friend's credit card, so I used my bank card. The lady at Enterprise said that when my friend's brother flew in, that we could come back and swap it out for his card. So the next morning, first thing, we go back to Enterprise. I didn't get out of the car because they didn't need me. Well now that it is almost twenty days later...I found out that Enterprise ran my card and withdrew $250 from my bank account, but never deposited any money back. I had to tell my husband. Who I have to say was not thrilled to say the least. We kind of avoid each other, as I stress out in my bedroom, thinking, what will I do? I can't go grocery, buy gas or even pick up my medications? As I am freaking out...I am talking to another Lupus sufferer on instant messaging. I met her about a year and half ago, but never really knew her until recently. She was such a genuine person, that she offered to lend me money. I had to say no, but thanked her. I couldn't believe a person that I barely even know would lend me a thousand dollars. That was just too much. She is living with her parents and is saving to move out. She just got a job & she is such a strong person. I admire how she always speaks her mind no matter what! She is so tough & is teaching me to grow a back bone. But I was overwhelmed by her generosity. I try to change the subject...then my husband & I ended up talking about the finances [again]. I got off the computer and talked with him, it ended badly, he was angry and went into my office to sleep. I finally take my sleeping pills and some xanex to calm myself because there isn't anything I could do last night, better yet, I wasn't even sure what I was going to do today. I laid down in my bed...next thing I know, I'm gushing, like good old "Faithful". My nose is bleeding everywhere. I got blood on the carpet, the side of the bed...I finally get a plastic bag, my husband comes out to assist me. He gets cotton balls and tissue and it was continually gushing out, literally. He ties up my hair while I try to hold something on my nose...I go to the sink to try to clean off [as I shoved a cotton ball up my nostril], well blood continually comes out, even with the cotton ball. I notice that my teeth have blood all over them too. So I brush my teeth, finally get the nose bleed to stop, wash my face, sinks, clean up the carpet...ugh! I was tired. I finally went to bed with my husband holding my hand. When I get stressed...it seems like I just bleed, literally. I wanted to die. I woke up this morning, feeling achy, horrible, just confused. I drag myself to work, make the phone calls to Enterprise and other places...to figure out the finances. Apparently, Enterprise just charged me for the car rental because my friend's credit card was declined. I am sure it was embarassing for her, but for me -- I am stuck with huge fees that I owe my bank, plus I am overdrawn. My husband and I gather up about $300 to put in the bank this morning. I think that almost catches up the fees that were paid out...but then the rest of the checks and debits waiting to clear??? My husband doesn't get paid until Monday. So from now until Monday what are we to live on? I won't be able to get my prescriptions. I have a doctor's appointment today, that I am seriously thinking of cancelling [because I have a $40 copay]. I have to be admitted to the hospital for tests on my brain [that I want to cancel, but I don't think I can]. And yes, I have to drive to work, with what gas, I'm not sure??? I am in need of a miracle. It seems like if a bad thing is going to happen, it's gonna happen to me. This last month has been horrible...actually this whole year...and it is only the beginning. I have been seeing doctors so much, plus meds...it comes out to about a thousand dollars a month out of pocket [at least]. Even if I wasn't having a flare...my costs are about $400. Then we have that problem with our mortgage on the ARM [adjustable rate m....] (hmm...I don't know what the "m" stands for?). I have found out this morning that I will also need to attend parent/teacher conferences on Thursday night, which I didn't know about until this morning. Just all kinds of things being thrown at me, all at once!!! I need to "de-stress," yea right! My head is pounding [again]. My husband called me and just told me that he is going to take an extra shift at work for the money - so now he will be working every weekend & has been looking for a part-time gig @ night. I might not be able to see my husband, the man that keeps me sane [sometimes]. What has happened? It seems like my whole world is collapsing before my eyes. I wrote my mom an e-mail and asked if I could borrow $400 [with collateral, of course]. I have not heard from her, which doesn't sound too good. For my collateral, I am giving my collectable two dollar bills, plus a Chinese fan that I am very fond of, but I know she has wanted.

2 comments:

MiLeTTe said...

problems causes stress and stress causes lupus.
like you i also suffer from lupus and fortunately i am in remission.

would it be ok if i link you up on my blog ?

www.romelette.wordpress.com

Living With Lupus said...

yes...I'm a ball of stress, aren't I???

I am kind of new to the blogging world..., but it is fine to link (?). I have no idea what that is...but I'm learning.

♥ mel