the teacup

I am like the tea bag, that slowly emits my emotions, but if the tea bag tears or breaks -- I explode. I obviously survived my down day. I took a little too much xanex or something...and I was so emotional. I barely remember the day. My errands were given to "daddy" - ha, I'm like get over yourself...this is my everyday!
Last night, I was on the phone with a prospective clarinet teacher for my daughter. My daughter has decided to quit band when she starts high school. She has been playing the clarinet now for at least three years and has had both band and private lessons for these past years. Also, she has played the violin, suzuki method and the traditional method, but we learned [a little too late] that the traditional method was best. 1/24th of a size! It was tiny, like a doll's little accessory. Okay, back to my little story. I am not sure what I was looking for...but I asked the general questions. She happens to know her [my daughter's past instructors], she didn't have much to say about them. I guess we live in a somewhat small community and it wouldn't take much to bring down a person and find out who said it. I believe that having music in a child's life, helps them organize their time, using both parts of their brains [my own thoughts...]. I know everyone has different thoughts as to what is best for their child.
Did I say...I found her past instructor, who taught her privately for about two years. His lessons were long and drawn out...but he really broke it down to her and gave her the history of it. He gave her -- ugh [metronome], his first to ever use. He was always so caring and able to help her, even when she was very shy. I had to sit through those lessons. Even when I had experienced kidney failure, I continued to go to these lessons, even if it meant someone had to drive both of us. That was when she was doing both violin and clarinet lessons, every week, with an activity.
Now everyone always says/posts/writes: that we overburden our children. I think there is truth to that. We want to give our kids every opportunity out there and if they choose to continue [or if you choose it for them] that they can derive whatever is needed, no matter what it takes out of you and your life. That has always been my husband's ultimate promise to me. To give our daughter everything that we never had, the attention, the details, etc. Which is encumbant of my everday life now. I did all the volunteer things, up until she said "mom, you don't need to do this anymore, i'm okay." Recently, I don't know if I had posted this prior...but her language arts teacher asked if I would come in and volunteer my time. I said I would try...being that it is my daughter's eigth grade, last year in middle school. I work full time about 20 minutes away. I have taken lots of time off because of my lupus and I think that I should be able to squeeze in time for my daughter's teacher. I am very young. I learn everyday, something, if anything -- new. I have an attorney that I work with...I call him Mr. Know-it-all. I am always trying to figure out what my brain is thinking, but it never comes out. I guess with all the drugs I am on, what am I to expect??

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