Right now I am missing my grandma. I talked with her earlier for a few minutes [as usual]. I just missed visiting with her. I went to the asian market today to pick up a few items and so many things reminded me of her!! My life is just so crazy right now with my daughter and my doctor appointments. I have left my wife duty as my last duty. Will I pay for that?? I am sure in time. My husband continues to support me, but sometimes I feel like he may be bitter because I am no longer working. There are days were I just can't get myself out of the house. I get scared. I get scared of the unknown or the known. Sometimes knowing too much is hurtful. I just need to take a moment and breathe, right? I hear my daughter whining in the background as she begs her father to take her somewhere [probably sonic]. Good thing we only have one child because I can't imagine two whining children. As my mind is being so random...what do I get my grandma? Her birthday is coming up this week. I want to send her a card, but I can't finish one thing. I just start projects and leave it right smack in the middle. Is this an ongoing obsession? Yes, it is. I need to fix it or else my life will just end up as an ongoing project of many nothings.

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