I woke up this morning, barely able to move...maybe I just pushed myself a [little] too much last night. I had a bloody nose in the middle of the night or early morning. I was just bleeding all over the place, ugh! I had to wake up my hubby, but by that time I had been draining blood [basically drinking it] because I could barely get my ass up to drain into a bag. I guess I should've know it would've been a rough day/morning. It is almost four 0'clock and I have yet to get out of my bed. My husband is in some sort of denial [I think?]. Again, he claims I am assuming. But he lays in bed next to me, not wanting to get close, and makes comments like: "why don't you just get out of bed?" What the hell? If I could, I would. I have a friend visiting and the last thing I want to be doing is laying in bed and not showing her around town. We were supposed to go to Estes Park today and get brunch, but I am obviously not going anywhere in this state. I need rest, desperately. I feel bad because she is probably bored [I think?] again, I don't know. She keeps talking about going home. I don't know if home, meaning California or Saipan. She tried to change her ticket while she was here to skip Japan, but then again...it was going to charge her some fee to change it, so she is debating whether or not she should change it. I would love to go back with her and get some R & R, but I am so tempermental...plus the extreme heat might do me in, ha! She kept complaining how cold it was here! OMG, it felt fine. I guess that would be life with a menapausal woman, right?? I kicked the hubby out of the bedroom so that he could watch whatever he wants to...He refuses to eat or even say that he is hungry, but we ALL know is that he is hungry. He gets all irritable, more than usual. Ugh, I can't stand it, especially when I am not feeling well and we have a guest at the house. Why can't he just grow up and say he's hungry or get food himself?? He wants me to drag my ass out of bed to feed him!! What the hell? I can't do this forever and it is seeminly catching up with me. I hate having LUPUS. It sucks, it affects all aspects of my life. I just want to be normal. Why can't I be normal? Why do I have to suffer slowly like I am?