Last night...

I went over to my daughter's friend's house last night...OMG, can you say TIRED? It was a hot day and I went over wearing a jean skirt, tank top with a light sweater. As soon as it got dark, all of a sudden, it got very cold. But I was talking amongst the parents, drinking wine [nonetheless], so who knows? My hands got so cold, that I lost the feeling. I do have Raynaud's, but it has been a while since I have had any significant problems with it. Well it definitely acted up last night. We finally leave there house at 11, which is really late for me especially since I worked all day and didn't get any rest in between. I got home...I didn't feel very well. My daughter brought over a guest - for a sleepover. The guest is a girl that I have known since my daughter went to pre-school, they have been friends ever since. My daughter had to help me into bed, with my medications, an extra blanket, but I couldn't get my hands to warm up or my feet. It hurt so badly. I believe I had a seizure in the evening or while sleeping b/c I couldn't talk or move when I woke up. I had to nudge my husband to help me. He usually can't understand me, but he was able to today. I felt horrible. I was in a lot of pain. He gave me a keppra, but I could barely open my mouth. He also gave me a vicodin. I guess the alcoholic beverage didn't help things either. He had to work today, so he helped arrange my body so I was a little bit more comfortable. Then, he felt that we should cancel all outings today because I was such a wreck. I felt really bad. We are supposed to go to a graduation party later today. I also know my daughter is planning on going to the pool and I would like to go with, just to watch the kids. Yes, I know, she is probably so embarassed of her mother! Right now, I feel as if I could barely breathe, like a heavy rock. My heart is pacing. Now the words from my internist comes to mind, " . . . the Lupus has affected your heart and you need to see a cardiologist . . ." No, I don't want to seee another doctor. I need this break. I need to take care of myself. But one evening of not really doing much, except sipping some fruit wine with a couple of other parents, getting into a heated debate about whether or not our children should be allowed to use the internet as freely as we let them. Yes, it was a heated subject considering all of our kids are girls. There were three fathers there - and you know men, it was just hard for them to take it in. I mean...we can only teach our children so much and then hope that they make good decisions, right? They won't listen to us forever?? I feel that my daughter is responsible, but then again, their kids...well it is definitely different.

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